Written by :- Chowdhary Rabiya Shafiq

Dowry Dowry Dowry! This is a word which rebounds to our ears almost daily, is a most unpleasant and abhorrent to all save sensible people with a positive approach to life. It is a morbidity which has made our society hallow and sapless.

Like many others i feel irritated and desire to know the very genesis of the word and the ideas behind which tends to disturb our social order. Like every other social evil, the cause of its existence could be different in nature. Being a conscious and a sled styled citizen of this society. I have always been anxious to know the various possible reasons and circumstances which enforce our parents to fall prey to this social evil.

Personally i feel that the basic and the main cause of this dreadful social evil is associated with the sense of compensation for pomp and show. In our valley even a poor man will stake all his assets but may not lag behind in giving each and every article to his daughter on her marriage in the name of dowry.
The question is what compels him to give such a huge amount of precious articles to her daughter on her marriage even at the cost of his life?
The answer is quite simple that he doesn’t want to see himself down in the eyes of the other fellow being. No doubt in maintaining this false show he is ready to ruin himself but he is not prepared to take bold step to go against this social order.

He wants his daughter to be happy in her new house but it has been found that the result in most of the cases has proved counter productive. His daughter is mentally tortured and emotionally black-mailed by her in-laws because their greed is not satiated once for all. In most of the cases, the situation reaches to the point of no return and ultimately results in the death of the girl by suicide or is murdered in a cold blood by in-laws. On the other hand a rich person gives away dowry to his daughter in the false name of gifts but the observations have revealed that the result in most of the cases are similar where in the marriage of their daughters does not last long and also ends up in a suicide! I think, it is the defeat in our social set up which has given a chance to this social evil to flourish without stop.

Dowry in itself is not bad. In older time a little of dowry was given by the parents as a token of love at the time of their farewell. It was used as an asset to begin a new life in an unfamiliar atmosphere. Even the Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) gave a bit of dowry to her Daughter Fatima (RA) as a Token of love and affection. With the passage of time this noble spirit got vitiated and people started offers beyond their means and status. By and by the society development a taste for it like a man eater. Marriage assumed the status of business which violates all the human laws and this transaction is to be carried through somehow. If terms of transaction are not fulfilled, the result in disastrous and unpleasant. A bad taste is created in the sacred relation which otherwise is supposed to be full of affection and love for each other.

We can remove this deep rooted social evil, if young men and women cooperate. It is not young only who should be more receptive to new ideas but old people. Also have to adopt themselves to the changing times. We have to make sure that we live more happily without dowry. The need of the hour is to promote such an atmosphere where love, affection, mutual cooperation are given preference to hatred, indifference and disintegration. The access to easy money with some sections of the society have given flip to this social evil government policy with regard to the black money and recent crackdowns on smugglers, hoarders and black-marketers is sure to check this menace, provided authorities carry out their policies in letter and spirit. People are used to wrong and bad habit of lavish spending will come to a natural end. If earnest steps are not taken to cure this social evil, the day is not far away when we reach a point of no return. We will bury our happiness and joys in the soil of this dowry system. The need of hour therefore is to change ourselves and changes for better tomorrow. This change will have to be brought by the youths specially because they are fortune builders of tomorrow. We shall have to realize the exigency of the matter as all of us shall have to face this challenge sooner or later.

If our faith is firm and earnest steps are taken to cure this evils, the day is not far off when present day marriages will regain their lost sanctity and retain the sweet name of marriage as “The Happy Union Of Two Souls” …!!!

“Chowdhary Rabiya Shafiq” The writer is a First Female Journalist, Social Activist and Entrepreneur from Peer Panjal region and has done a marvelous job for the society since 2012. She can be contacted at


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